January 2010
formspring plz? →
I figure I really like doing long surveys, so why not answer individual random questions from strangers? I’ll answer anything, so please give me questions. =]
19.5 / 24
Years I’ve been alive. / Years my parents have been married.
Happy anniversary to them… happy half birthday to me?
“Because every time we touch I get this feeling and every time we kiss I swear I...”
–
Cascada
http://postsecret.blogspot.com/ →
By the way, I love this site. I have yet to send a secret in, but I feel that it’s okay because I keep finding my secrets posted there anyway.
What do you do when the person who hurt you the most suddenly - and unexpectedly - pops back into your life?
3 tags
3 tags
conversations with my mother
Mom: ...and they were playing an interview of George Clooney.
*phone rings and she answers*
Mom: Hey, I was just talking about you.
Mandi: Say what?
~
Mandi: Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.
Dad: -laughs-
Mom: Well of course not. Germany is just a magical place filled with things like fairies and... well, just fairies.
Dad: What?!
~
Mom: I'm gonna need my Mount of Monte Crisco movie back.
Mandi: Hah. Your what?
Mom: My mountain of Crisco. *laughs*
~
Mom: Oh no, the light blew again.
Dad: Way to go.
Mom: I got this one on.
Dad: How'd you manage that?
Mom: I used my handy dandy light turner on-er.
Mandi: And what exactly is that?
Mom: A soup ladle. Short people learn to adapt.
~
Mom: I asked Charlie yesterday if we should get a kitten and he said no.
Mandi: He said no? That word actually came out of his mouth?
Mom: Are you mocking the dog?
~
Mom: Do either of you know Spanish?
Mandi: Tengo dos gatos en mis pantilones.
Sam: Todos los dias y todos los noches.
Mom: I don't think I should say that to the guy that keeps calling for National City.
Mandi: Then just scream "DIAL UNO!!!" at him.
~
Mom: The dog doesn't feel good.
Mandi: Well, neither do I.
Mom: But he looks more pathetic. Look, he's trembling.
Mandi: I can tremble.
Mom: That's a twitch, not a tremble. Big difference.
~
Mandi: Zucchini.
Mom: Asparagus.
Mandi: Apricot?
Mom: Hm. There are no other vegetables that start with Z. *continues thinking*
Mandi: ... I don't know what's happening here.
Mom: Or fruits, for that matter.
Mandi: Zebanana?
Mom: No. You are not French.
~
Mandi: *walks in the house laughing*
Mom: What did you do?
Joey: When we got out of the car the first thing she said was "Dang it! We forgot to pick up chicks!"
Mom: Mandi, I didn't know you swung that way.
~
Mom: Hey Andy, you being nice to my daughter?
Andy: Sometimes.
Mom: Good enough.
~
Mom: I was just calling to let you know you can clean here on Thursday and we got the code for you to get paid for it. Tell Bob thank you.
Mandi: I'll tell him right now. He's standing right here.
Bob: Huh?
Mandi: It's my mom. About working at her office on Thursday.
Bob: Oh. You're both fired.
Mandi: What? Mom! He fired us!
~
Mom: Go get Rainel some Benadryl, then you can have a meatball. Maybe.
Mandi: So what, I'm trading drugs for food now?
Mom: Yes.
~
Mom: How nice. Ana got me a gift. I wonder what it is. ...oh crap. -hands it to me- Here. Keep it.
Dad: What's wrong with it?
Mom: It's coconut lime lotion. Ew. Coconut.
Mandi: Yay!
Mom: Remember to thank Ana.
Mandi: Oh, I will.
~
Mom: *smells the lotion* Bad smell. Very bad smell. Bad coconut, it's stuck in my nose! I have to cut off my nose. Gotta get the smell out. *sniffs dog food* Mmm. Good dog food.
~
Mandi: By the way, you're not allowed to sniff teenage boys.
Mom: What? But I like doing that.
Mandi: Too bad. Not allowed.
Mom: Aaaw. You mean I can't sniff your brother and his friends anymore?
~
Mom: Goodnight. Sweet dreams.
Mandi: No. You can't make me.
Mom: Oh, I could.
Mandi: How? I'd like to see you try.
Mom: Don't test me, little girl.
~
Mom: Here Rick, have a cookie.
Rick: Okay.
Mom: It's better to have one now before Mandi's dad gets to them. He likes to fondle the chocolate ones.
~
Mom: We almost bought you a white tiger today but it ended up being the zebra from Madagascar.
~
Mom: See, that's what happens when you give a white tiger a bath. All their stripes come off. Never bathe your white tigers.
~
Mom: So is Mandi a cougar since she's moving in with three younger guys?
Mandi: What? They're all less than a year younger than me.
Mom: Still younger.. you cougar.
Mandi: Less than a year! And not interested!
~
Mom: I'm observient.
Mandi: I think you're making up words.
Mom: 'Snot.
Mandi: "Snot" is not the proper response in this situation.
~
Mom: Excellent. Does that mean if I give you a piece of gaudy jewelry on my death bed and tell you if you keep it with you forever I'll be with you forever that means you have to wear it?
Mandi: I can just imagine what kind of horrible thing you'd hand to me.
Mom: Macaroni necklace!
~
Mom: Maybe if they blew up the moon it'd restore the ozone layer and the butterflies would be happy.
Me: -weird look-
Mom: What? Butterflies like ozone. It's a known fact.
~
Mom: They have peanut butter crackers in the stores again. I was so happy.
Mandi: Are they safe?
Mom: ... You can try them first.
~
Mom: Why are you sniffing the bread?
Mandi: Because it smells fantastic. Also, the ends smell better than the middle.
Mom: You make no sense.
~
Dad: What were you guys talking about?
Mom: ... I don't know.
Mandi: Me neither. ...oh wait. I remember. But now I have to ask, is it funny that we forgot that we were talking about childhood amnesia?
Mom: Yes.
~
Mandi: I need to zoom in on Uranus.
Mom: That sounded wrong.
Mandi: That was the point.
~
Mandi: Where's your phone charger?
Mom: In the spice drawer.
~
... and this is why I love my mother.
4 tags
http://asofterworld.com/ →
This is - by far - one of my favorite websites.
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